Boundary Psychology- Psychotherapy for Bad Relationships

You need to make certain boundaries to protect yourself

Boundaries mean that you do not allow negative people to destroy your life. Every person in your life is either a minus (-) or a plus (+). Every person either brings something possitive to your life, or makes your life unnecessarily more difficult and horrible. The trouble with anxiety people is that because they are a minus (-) themselves everyone else in their life is also a minus (-). Your goal is to become a possitive asset to all people in your life.

The problem with anxiety families is that there is not much respect or consideration for people. Nobody cares if they cause stress or pain to each other. Normally when a child or teenager is suffering with anxiety or depression, a lot of time nobody cares. Nobody is interested. People don’t speak to their children once in a while and ask them if everything is okay. A child could be suicidal and nobody would know. Even if parents do know that there is something wrong with a child, they may be angry because that child requires too much love from them. They may think, “Who does that child think he is? It's not all about HIM!”. Some parents think that it's ALL about them, and have zero true spiritual Love for their children or anyone else.

Boundaries start with having your own living space. Children or teenagers need their own personal space and bedroom in order to be happy. When I was growing up my bedroom was a hallway leading into my sisters room. There were always people walking through. Everyone used to come in without knocking and walk through my room. I was literally a doormat for other people. The only way to solve this was to move out. I also has no permission to touch anything in that room or move any furniture around. Some other crazy people also like to evade other peoples boundaries by keeping their own stuff and clutter in OTHER peoples bedrooms.

It’s important to have a comfortable living environment. This is a place where you love to be, a haven from the outside world. A place that you can make your own territory. Your personal space should not be evaded by other people. Your privacy should be respected.

You have certain rights as a human being

You have a divine right as a human being to be treated with respect and Love. If you are not, then you can either try speaking to the people concerned or leave them. It is your responsiblity to create bounderies against people by limiting the amount of time you spend with negative people. You may have to move house, town or even to a different country to be free from negative people. But it is your sole responsibility. Nobody who believes in their rights to be treated with love and respect would ever allow themselves to be bullied or mistreated.
Everybody has the right to be able to develop their own hobbies, interests, and pursue their own dreams and goals. If people start interfering by telling you how to live your own life then you need to be able to say, “Mind your own business!”. If you have children instead of telling them what to do, let them find out how to do it themselves. It's okay to let people make mistakes. Nothing has to be a particular way.
You have the right to be able to make your own decisions and express your own opinions on a wide range of different matters. Some people are narcissistic control freaks, and they don’t allow people to have contrary opinions to themselves. They tell people what to do all the time. You have the right to say, “I disagree”.
If someone is asking too much of you or wants you to do something unreasonable or something that you do not want to do, you have the right to say, “No!”, or “I don't care!”.

Once you start becoming a positive person and overcoming anxiety and depression your friends may not like it. They may feel threatened or jealous, but the positive people will start to come into your life. Some people are only friends with you because it makes them feel better that you are someone who is more depressed, negative or lower in status than them. One time one of my friends was complaining on the phone to his girlfriend, “I don't know what's wrong with him. He used to be depressed. Now he just keeps on laughing!”